I have a new book out. Let me say it again: I have a new book out. Finally!
It’s called No Such Thing as Gnomes, and it is the sequel to No Such Thing as Mermaids. If you enjoyed the first book — or even if you just tolerated it politely — this one continues the tradition of insisting that things absolutely do not exist while quietly proving the opposite.
I said at the beginning of the year that this book would be published in 2025. It is now published in 2025.
So let’s start by acknowledging that small but meaningful victory.
What I did not say at the beginning of the year was that it would take roughly twice as long to write as I thought it would. This was not a strategic decision. It was simply the familiar author experience of saying, “This should be straightforward,” and then discovering that characters have opinions, plots wander off, and apparently entire chapters insist on existing.
Somewhere along the way, the book became darker, stranger, and more stubborn than planned. Which, in retrospect, probably means it turned into the book it was supposed to be. Or at least the one that refused to let me stop writing until it was finished.
For anyone keeping score at home:
- Yes, it is a sequel.
- Yes, you probably want to read No Such Thing as Mermaids first, but you don’t have to, as it stands alone.
- No, this was not written quickly.
- Yes, it was written honestly.
- And yes, it now exists in the world, which feels slightly unreal.
Publishing a book is a strange thing. One day it’s a pile of notes and half-finished scenes, and the next day it’s a product listing with a cover and a buy button. At that point, all you can really do is nod, pretend this was the plan all along, and move on.
So here it is.
It took longer than expected.
It arrived when promised.
And it’s finally out of my head.
If you decide to read it, I hope you enjoy the time you spend there. If not, that’s fine too. Gnomes don’t exist anyway.