Recently my old friend Jeff asked me how to properly order absinthe while at a bar. Specifically he asked, “How do you order/drink Absinthe? I am a man of limited experience. I drink scotch neat, but not much else. However, I’m thinking of giving absinthe a try.”
At first, I pointed him to a resource on the Wormwood Society website: The Proper Way To Prepare Absinthe In Society. That tells you everything you need to know from people who are the experts.
But Jeff specifically wanted to know, “If I order it in a bar, what do I ask for if I don’t want to come across as an idiot?”
I had to think about it, and so, from my experience, I told him it’s usually a three-step process because a surprising amount of bartenders still think it’s illegal. But here is how I do it:
Step One
Ask the bartender, “Do you serve absinthe?” That usually results in a blank look or an “Uh, no.”
Step Two
If the answer is yes, then ask, “What kinds do you serve?” If they offer Absente then decline. It’s not real absinthe. But if they offer Lucid or Pernod(you have to make sure the Pernod bottle actually reads “Absinthe Superieure”) these are usually the two most common, and you’re in luck. If they have more than one type, or especially if they have something like Jadeor Pacifica (my personal favorites), then you’re at a bar where they probably know what they’re doing.
Note: There are now a plethora of locally distilled absinthe varieties that are often regionally available, such as Amerique 1912 from Wisconsin or Absinthia from California. Many are excellent, but if you’re feeling cautious you can always consult reviews on the Wormwood Society website before plunking down your hard earned cash.
Step Three
Ask, “Can I get it properly louched?” If they give you a blank stare then say, “I’d like it the traditional way, with ice water and a sugar cube.” If they make any move to light it on fire, decline. Never never light good absinthe on fire. You’d be wasting money and good absinthe. If you want a flaming drink order Everclear and a fire extinguisher.
More Info
If you are curious about absinthe and want to learn the truth about this often maligned drink, I urge you to go to the best source, which is the Wormwood Society website.
It’s a very good thing to have dreams and aspirations. The problem is, which ones do you chase? Which ones do you lock in as a goal, and work toward? For some this is a no-brainer, but for others — especially creative types who have a very large range of interests — choosing can be difficult. So difficult, in fact, that you end up making no choice at all.
Another pitfall is choosing to pursue something that, in the end, you lose interest in it. The time in your life is finite, and it’s a shame to waste that time and energy chasing something that turns out to be a whim. That’s why it’s best to invest some time up front, studying, to discover what it is you really want out of life before you dedicate a lot more time working toward it.
It’s like that Talking Heads song Seen and Not Seen, where the guy spends years slowly changing the shape of his own face to an ideal, which — halfway through — he decides isn’t what he really wants.
Here’s what I did, and it worked for me. Maybe it will work for you as well.
Spend a couple weeks making a list of the things you really want out of life. Don’t be afraid to think big. What is it you really want?
Don’t worry about listing them in order, and if you think of something else later, you can add it in at any time.
My [highly edited] personal example:
See Europe
Get a pro camera
Write for a living
Become a gourmet chef
Paint pictures
Pursue photography
Own a combination coffee shop/book store
Live in a beach house
Learn computer programming
Learn database programming
Make sure you don’t lose this list. I kept mine on a Palm Pilot, because iPhones weren’t around yet and I carried my PDA with me everywhere. You can keep it on your computer, in the cloud, or in a paper notebook you know you won’t lose. It doesn’t matter where just as long as it’s accessible and safe.
Now, over the course of the next 6 months to a year (or even longer if you’d like), go down this list and rate your desire for each one on a scale from zero to ten. Do it at least once a month. When you’re done, you’ll have a list of numbers beside each:
You can see immediately the goals I’ve consistently craved over time are things like a beach house and a really nice camera. One item that turned out to be a whim was my desire to learn computer programming.
Now, average each one up and sort them highest to lowest:
Write for a living — 8.5 Average
Live in a beach house — 8.4 Average
See Europe — 7.3 Average
Get a pro camera — 6.9 Average
Become a gourmet chef — 4.5 Average
Pursue professional photography — 4.5 Average
Paint pictures — 3.8 Average
Own a combination coffee shop/book store — 2.0 Average
Learn database programming — 1.8 Average
Learn computer programming — 1.1 Average
And there you go. You have a well-researched list of what you want out of life. Concentrate on the top of the list, and forget about everything averaging below a six in your ratings.
I did this about 15 years ago. I’m now writing for a living, I’ve saved up for and bought the camera (more than one, actually), and I’ve made it to Europe several times. And while I don’t live on a beach, I have an office with a beautiful view of the Mississippi River.
The lesson here, though, is once you’ve set your goals you know what to focus on and work toward — you can achieve them.
Now right in the middle of all this, you may stumble into something else that fires your rockets. Add it in. Pursue it a bit. Study it as well. Times change, interests change … if I were to do this list now, it would look substantially different.
The most important thing is to make sure you enjoy life and keep enjoying it. It could turn out that something on your list (that you’ve wanted for over a year) will suddenly drop off after you’ve started pursuing it. Maybe something you pursued while you were making your list takes its place.
It’s okay. If you feel a passion for something, and the passion doesn’t fade, you may not even need to make a list or study your long-term desires.
If that happens, then go for it!
If not, then at least you have a solid place to start. And everything you do, learn from it. If you can do that then nothing is wasted, and you’re living your life to its fullest.
When I was twelve years old, my parents gave me this:
My latest novel leans heavily upon not only me using typewriters since an early age, but on the several years I spent rescuing and repairing old classic ones back in the 1990’s. The story actually came from me thinking it would be funny to write a novel simply titled:
TYPEWRITER REPAIRMAN!
I know, I know. Silly title. What was I thinking?
I can trace the idea back to a Monty Python skit called “Bicycle Repairman!” where there’s a world full of superheroes, but one of them steps into a phone booth during a time of need and changes into “Bicycle Repairman.” And he’s a huge hero to all the superheroes, who apparently have no idea how to fix a bicycle.
In my novel, however, it’s not a world of superheroes, but the main character does find himself embedded among a loose-knit group of powerful supernatural archetypes. To his dismay, they insist he’s fated to find a typewriter imbued with dangerous powers. And this main character, being a nerdy, socially awkward typewriter repairman, is forced further and further out of his comfort zone, and finds himself in an adventure (and love story) beyond his wildest imagination.
So that is Typewriter Repairman, available now, and if I can get off my butt and update this website I plan on setting up a way for people to order signed copies directly from me.
(I’ll post another blog entry here when that finally happens, and also send out a message to those subscribed to my newsletter.)
In other news, I have another book coming out within the next few months. This one is a science fiction that I’ve been working on for years, and it’s finally ready. Doomsday, cloning, Von Neumann probes, interstellar colonies, adventure and discovery … it’s all there. And it’s pretty hard sci-fi too, so there’s nothing impossible going on — in fact it’s all very likely, given enough time.
I’ll send out another newsletter (and post here to the blog) when that one is ready.
Until then, thank you for reading! It’s a crazy world out there … stay safe, and let’s all take care of one another.
I’ve been fascinated with the question, “What is reality?” since I was a teenager. I think I missed my calling in life, perhaps I should have been a philosophy major instead of a communications major. But then again, I have such a goofball sense of humor, no one would have taken me seriously — and philosophy seems to be oh so serious. Better to make light of the question while examining it than bog it down and make it dull. But let me break it down to a simple chain of logic based on what we know from science:
Action at a distance, which is the mind-boggling concept that particles get “entangled” and, what you do to one will affect its entangled partner — no matter how far the distance — implies that the two are actually connected even if they’re on the opposite sides of the Universe. How? It would have to be via dimensions we can’t perceive, and what we think of as two entangled particles are actually sections of the same particle. The two are a single object, but we can’t see the whole object because it actually has more than three dimensions. My conclusion: there are definitely more dimensions than what we perceive.
Heisenberg’s uncertainty principal shows us, without any room for doubt, that particles are affected by observation. Matter itself knows when you’re looking at it, and it behaves differently. My conclusion: awareness is built into matter.
These are just two pieces of a vast puzzle, but they’re enough to hint to me (and remember I’m a communications major with a wild imagination, not a scientist) that the Universe is both bigger and more complicated than you’d expect, and it is also self-aware. But not self aware as in how you and I are self aware, but in a bigger, grander, more complex way. But get this: you and I are part of this Universe. We are not separate from it, we are part of it.
We are the Universe and we are aware of ourselves. Hence, even from this perspective, the Universe is in fact aware of itself.
So if the Universe is aware, what is it doing? What is it interested in? If all it does is cosmic navel gazing, what is it watching?
We have strong hints right in front of us. The Universe seems to love beauty. It seems to love conflict. It seems to love drama.
It seems to love a good story.
Look through a powerful telescope and there are stories everywhere. Stories of birth, struggle, death, and rebirth. Stories of power, of gluttony, of conflict, and also harmony and beauty.
Stories of how chaos transforms into order — all by itself.
And all this is at extreme macro levels. Who knows what amazing stories unfold every second at every level in the entire cosmos — just look at all the drama, conflict, and beauty right here on our own little world.
And we see it all, and it interests us — and remember, we are part of the Universe looking at itself. What we see, the Universe sees, and what interests us also interests the Universe.
